Off My Blogroll

Over the course of three years of blogging I've removed a few people from my blogroll of links. Always because they've ceased blogging. Never for content. Until today. I am, at least temporarily, removing the blog "Spirit Sex" written by Rey.

For whatever reason, Rey is engaged this week on her otherwise excellent blog in what I judge as emotional bomb throwing. In brief, it started from her post about a reader's reaction to one of Rey's 100 things about her entries:

"4. I believe most heterosexual men are pedophiles to some degree. Most simply never act on it or never get caught." - Rey

Rey went on to explain that her belief is that most men are attracted to very young girls and to quote statistics on child abuse.

Granted, all of the child abuse statistics are tragic and worth our attention and action.

But to charge that "most men" are pedophiles is to engage in wantonly irresponsible bomb-throwing.

Rey has attempted to have it both ways in several posts since: that is to back up to a position where she is only alleging "attraction" and maybe only to girls over 12, but to still hold to her belief that most men "are attracted to very young girls". This is naive and unecessarily provocative. And she's surprised that men are reacting "emotionally" to her charge?

I don't believe that "most men" reading her allegation consider pedophilia to be about attraction, but about criminal action. We're not talking about an appreciative glance at a cute girl at the mall. When we talk about pedophiles, we talk about actually abusing a child. Or about creating, distributing, or downloading child porn. That's what's implied when you throw around the term "pedophile".

Rey quotes Wikipedia to justify her definition of pedophilia as attraction. Alternately, I quoted the definition of pedophilia from Meriam Webster Online - which I consider an authoratative source - as "sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object." Preferred. We're talking about a perversion in which "children" are preferred.

I don't take this topic lightly. I was sexually abused, for years. And I've been a foster parent to several children who were abused. I've lived and seen the damage of child sexual abuse. Pedophiles get no safe quarter with me. By the same token, I'm offended when people trivialize actual abuse by throwing around an irresponsible charge that most men are "pedophiles to some degree" who just haven't acted on it or been caught.

So, am I removing "Sprit Sex" because I disagree with her or am offended by her beliefs. Not at all. It's her blog. She can opine or rant about anything she wants to. She can even be (and is) wrong. I would still read her. I would challenge her, but I would read her.

I am removing her because she made me realize something about age on the internet. Because, after relooking at her blog I can't confirm to myself that she's 18 or over. Eighteen is a definite cutoff. There's nothing in her identifying information that would tell me that Rey is over 18. Her profile just says "Female" and "student".

Based on the immaturity of her allegation, I can't be sure she's not a high school student. Most likely she's a college student. (College students are prone to this type of dimwitted self-righteous over-generalized pronouncements. I was when I was in college. It's insufferable.) But, I can't be certain that she's not a high school student and is 18 or over.

So, since I can't be sure of her age and I wouldn't want to engage in my inherently male propensity to be a pedophile (okay, that was snarky), I'm removing "Spirit Sex" from my blogroll.

At least that's how I see it today.

And, I'm also more wary about surfing blogs now. How do I know that the knee or kneck or butt I'm looking at in a HNT picture doesn't belong to a minor? Thoughts anyone?