Friday, April 07, 2006

Quality Deflowering

Ariel had a new post this week over at one of my favorite sites, Ken and Ariel, called "Never as bad as the first time" where she bemoans the poor quality of her first sexual encounter. Make that the first several encounters. Expecting romance and harmonious orgasmic explosions, she got.....well, let's say disappointed. WTF, she asked.

It turns out that was the common experience among her set of girlfriends. I expect it is close to a univeral experience for women.

That sounds like a problem that cries out for a solution. A solution from a wise older man. From an older EXPERIENCED man.

I humbly offered my solution in her comments, which I'll paraphrase here.

I should hang out a shingle, I proffered, in the college town where I work. A not-for-profit enterprise, free in fact, in the area of "personal services" for expectant and virginal freshman girls who have the right to experience a pleasureable first romp.

I'd call it "Quality Deflowering". Here's my ad:

"Ladies, have you dreamed about your "first time"? Why be disappointed by a drunken fumbling frat boy? You deserve a Quality Deflowering! Draw on my three decades of erotic experience and my proven ability to deliver leg-trembling pleasure. Make your first time a satisfied time! Call today for your "introductory" special.

Fineprint: After that you're on you're own, back to fumbling boys, and to make it worse - you'll know what you're missing!

What do you think? Would I have a clientele?
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 4:43 PM | 0 comments


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