Tuesday, March 27, 2012

In Praise of the Sundress

I had my first sundress sighting last week. It usually stops my breath when that happens. Oh, do I find a sundress sexy.

So, I'm sitting in church. Not that I am noticing attractive women in the congregation or anything, because I wouldn't do that.

There's one sexy twenty-something sister in front of me to my left. Where is the other sexy sister? They always sit together. She must not have made it tod....

Oh wait. There she is. Last minute. Sliding into the pew.

In a sundress. Light and bouncy. All of that tan shoulder and those long tan legs.

And then she sat down. In a pew. In a sundress.

And here's the strange thing about that. The back of the pew hit right above the back of the sundress, and I couldn't see any of the sundress at all. And she crossed her bare calf out into the aisle. So all I could see of her from my angle was her long gorgeous hair, her tan bare shoulders down to just below her should blades, and her bare legs sticking out in the aisle. I could not, from my vantage point, see a stitch of clothing. Just skin.

I'm sure the pastor said something interesting. Didn't hear it. My mind was too loud. My mind was saying over and over again:

"There's a sexy naked girl in the church! There's a sexy naked girl in the church! There's a sexy naked girl in the church!"

Sexy optical illusion. Not a particularly useful place for that to happen.

I swear, after 45 minutes I had to avert my eyes...
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 9:12 PM | 0 comments


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