Friday, December 31, 2010

Let's be Honest about my Sex Life...

...which is to say that I practically have none at this stage in my life. Too early for that, but true.

Am I the Semi-Celibate Man? Only barely. Let's briefly recap:

- Marital sex is dead right now. Not her fault. Not my fault, at least I don't think so. We've had such deep family trauma for so long now that marital intimacy is strained to the point of possibly being unrecoverable. I don't know how to recover it. If I told you the story of the last year, you would understand. We live together. We co-parent / co-caretake. We're friends. I still love her and care deeply for her. There's just no intimacy left.

Plus, I'm at the stage of diabetes of having serious ED issues. Tried the different meds. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I don't want that pressure.

I'm at the point that I wish we could find a boyfriend for her on the side, so that she could have a sex life. I want her to have a fulfilling sex life. It just isn't from me right now. Not a "cuckold" situation, in the strict sense. Just want her to have a fulfilling life that includes sex. There's no way she would agree to that. I can't even imagine asking her.

- I don't want find a woman for sex on the side. Don't know if I even still could. I don't want to worry about the ED issues. I don't want any emotional entanglements. And my few experiences with this tells me that there always are some.

- I do know now, as I've riskily shared here lately that I am a bi-sexual man. Not bi-curious. Bi. I love a woman's body. I'm comfortable with a man's body. Crave contact with both. That makes a MFM threesome arrangement most desirable. Have you read my posts this year with meeting up with a couple? Hot. Still, problematic though because the couple wants mostly to DP her. Two hard cocks for her. There's that ED issue again, and the pressure of that. Likely that is why they disappeared and I don't get responses to emails anymore.

I have an ad up on CraigsList to meet a couple. "Orally gifted man for both of you", or something like that. An offer to orally please both. She could watch me blow him, and vice versa. Whatever else happened would be a bonus, but not required. No takers, yet. Couples, would that interest you? Would you have a orally gifted man join your sex play?

- Which leaves me with M4M. Anonymous male contact through CL. Risky to say the least. But, available. There are absolutely men on there looking for a blowjob only. Not many of them sane or safe.

Which is where I'm at right now. As honest as it gets.

I just want a situation where a sane, clean, single man that lives at home invites me over regularly to give him a long slow blowjob. Then I leave. That's it. That's enough for me. That's what I crave. Not because I am "submissive". But because that's what I enjoy and want to do.

Which is what I think that I found yesterday. Which is what I think my sex life will consist of in 2011.

Don't know if anyone wants to hear about that though. Comment if you do...
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 3:20 PM | 0 comments


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