Thursday, April 07, 2011

Hello Grabber

Is anyone else pondering their mortality this week? No? Just me, I guess.

It's not the first time that I have had such thoughts here on SCE blog. I was remembering this week a post that I wrote somewhere in the 387 posts in my archive where I predicted that I wouldn't live past a certain early age. I wasn't being melodramatic. It's an easy prediction given my stress level and horrible diet that I will be on the receiving end of a massive heart stoppage some day. A "grabber", I believe they call it. And, guess what, I have reached that age. Hello grabber.

Two things have reminded me of that prediction of late:

1. It happened to an acquaintance of mine. One minute here walking around doing mundane tasks. The next minute deceased. Gone. Expired. Assuming room temperature. Etc. Makes one think.

2. I've had three moments this week when I become suddenly acutely aware that there was a heart beating in my chest. Hello grabber. Once at my desk. Once while driving. Do I drive straight to an emergency room? I thought about it, until the moment passed. And once just now when I was taking a nap and got woken up. Hello.

I mention it only to ask this: who in my virtual world would know if I did suddenly kick off? I'm not the first to think that thought by far. Only the most recent. Who would know?

Here's the thing. I have multiple presences online. Some vanilla, some naughty. Some anonymous, some named. As I think through all of my lives online I am fairly sure that there is not one person alive who has seen absolutely all of them. Only a couple of people are pretty close to having seen all of them.

So, there might be only one or two people who would realize that I have suddenly fallen silent on my named/vanilla sites and who could then post a comment here that I was gone.

Not that it matters, really. Not that it matters at all.

I just wanted to take a minute and say that I really really really appreciate those special lovely talented creative young ladies who really know me across multiple online personalities. You mean a lot to me. You really really do. Thank you for hanging with me as long as you have.

Hoping I can get back to sleep now. And that I wake up in the morning. If you're here reading this, I'll leave you with this old post that I found in the archives called "7 Semi-Serious Things About SCM". All still true.

Okay, enough melodrama. Morning comes early.
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 11:37 PM | 0 comments


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