Wednesday, April 26, 2006

HNT #10: Humpin' Rubber

For this Half-Nekkid Thursday I'm reminded that you have to have a good sense of humor, some humility, a spirit of adventure to get through life.

Originally uploaded by Semi-Celibate Man.

I had all three this week when I found myself standing in my kitchen with my member stuck in a tube of rapidly cooling rubber.

"Clone-a-Willy" was the culprit. I saw it in the adult store while I was shopping for the May BOB-of-the-month toys for Passion and Spirit. I had to try it. After all, it says right there on the package that you can make a vibrating dildo that's an exact copy of you in only minutes!

You can stop laughing now. It was fun. It was humbling. And it was an adventure.

But don't believe the "only minutes" part. It actually took about 3 days, counting assembling all of the utensils (ruler, scissors, duct tape, mixing bowl and spoon, empty apartment, etc.)

Here's the highlights:

First, the prep is humbling. Start with a 12" tube, measure your erection, and then cut the tube down to size. Ouch on the ego! Then duct tape the cut edges to keep from de-scrotumizing yourself when you slam the goo filled tube over yourself.

Now you're ready for perverted chemistry class. Imagine doing this:

- assembling all of the mixing implements, powder, porn stimulants, and a camera on the counter within easy reach
- Drawing hot water
- Waiting for the water to cool to exactly 98 degrees, while attempting to achieve the desired state of erectile stimulation
- Quickly mixing the water and powder, stirring to the right consistency, and filling the tube while maintaining said erection.
- positioning the tube over yourself and holding still for two minutes, again while maintaining said erection.
- mixing more rubber chemicals to pour in the mold. Cure for 24 hours.

Maybe I could have done this when I was eighteen. Not now. I can get it up, or I can mix chemicals under pressure – but not both at the same time. So, my resulting mold and toy wasn’t quite the full me. But it was fun.

I’ll probably do it again to get it right.

Next time I’m either using Viagra or getting a partner for both the fluffing and mixing parts. Any volunteers? :)

Now, what to do with my stubby clone?

The X-rated documention of the deed is added to:
ablum: "Roadside Self-Love" (so you can compare it to the original)
password: scm
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 5:31 PM | 0 comments


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