Sunday, June 11, 2006

SCM Goes to the Movies

SCM was a little worn out, lonely, and just generally out of sorts lately. So, a little cinema therapy was in order. Let's review the two movies I saw:

Break Up: with Jennifer Anniston and some guy. (Yeah, I know it's Vince Vaughan but he's a guy and his comedic charms were completely wasted in this one, so let's talk Jennifer.)

If there was any doubt left in the earth-stopping question, Jennifer or Angelina, count me in on Team Jennifer. She's gorgeous and a terrific actress and she does a great job in this turkey. Beautiful girl. Beautiful hair. Gorgeous smile. I like.

Do not go to see this movie, if you haven't already. And especially, under no circumstances, do not take a date to this movie. It's not a romantic comedy as the ads would have you believe. It would have to have some laughs for it to be a comedy, and there are almost none to be found here. It's non-stop misery and arguing and bickering and fighting and.....for god's sake would you two just shut up!

There's a pivotal scene early in of a dinner party which precipitates the break up. Noteably, while Jen and Vince bicker and fight, everyone else at the table goes silent and tries to look away from the carnage. Trust me, that's how the audience feels for the whole movie! Yikes.

There was a young couple that sat down right in front of me right before the movie started. They were all giggly and touchy-feeling when the movie started. Sitting on the inside of their seats all squished up on each other. By the end of the movie, she was way over on the other side of her seat, arms folded in a mad posture. She couldn't have been farther away from her date without changing seats. Guys - that's why you shouldn't bring a date. This movie will make her mad at you. Thanks Vince.

Bottom line: instead of going to see this movie, rent "Rumor Has It". A much better movie with just as much gorgeous Jen.

Da Vinci Code: Good movie overall - with some major disturbing elements. I felt the same way about the movie as I did about the book in three areas:

1. Entertainment - Good: It's an entertaining story, with a well told mystery and good acting and pacing. I thought that all the reviews that I read about Tom Hanks being stiff and no chemistry with Sophie to be quite wrong. It was well acted, Hanks did a fine job, and I liked the French actress who played Sophie.

2. Symbolism - Great: I love conspiracy theories, secret societies, religious symbolism, and all that stuff. The Code delivers it all in a well told story. Love the Knights Templar / Holy Grail / rose line story elements. I thought that the mystery was well weaved.

3. Theology - Inaccurate and Failing: Granted that the tale is fiction, but Dan Brown wants to infer some truth in his theological conspiracy. And from that perspective it's crap and it is indeed heretical. Truth is definitely lacking. It's relentlessly anti-church, with every church official portrayed almost cartoonishly evil. I get it Dan - you don't like the church or Christianity. I got it in spades. I'm not even Catholic and I was offended by the assault on Catholicism to the point that I almost walked out about 2/3 of the way through.

To summarize: the story is a brilliant and entertaining conspiracy tale that is decidedly heresy. Take that for what you will

I'm not in the business of recommending movies, so go see what you want to go see. Everyone has different tastes. Knock yourselves out.

I'm settled in tonight with some brain junk food: Laguna Beach, season one, disc one. Kristin vs. Lauren. Rich spoiled brats behaving ridiculously. But a lot of cute girls, which is all that counts.
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 7:09 PM | 0 comments


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