Monday, January 23, 2006

Breaking Out the CyberSkin


JH Cyberskin
Originally uploaded by Semi-Celibate Man.
As circumstances would have it, I seem to have had the house to myself for the week.With my wife off on a trip, I've had the need and the opportunity to keep myself occupied. Physically.

A week of unfettered whacking it.

And a multimedia expo of sensory exploration.

Starting with TV. I suddenly realized this week, due to my schedule being off, that VH-1 shows videos in the morning. I only get to watch TV at night and I thought videos were dead. I've been living on Celebrity Fit Club when I could have been enjoying Beyonce (Check On It), Mariah Carey (Don't Forget About Us), and of course the PussyCat Dolls (StickWitU). Yeow! I now have a new favorite mix tape in my VHS.

Hitting the video store for a sampling of all the raunchy R-rated vids with the promise of some flesh. Not just the mainstream fare of "Wedding Crashers" and "The 40-Year Old Virgin". I'm talking all of the B, C, & D movies with only one copy in between them. I'm talking dreck like "Dirty Deeds" whose box covers lead you to believe that there will be some degree of scintillating T&A.

And surfing. Oh, yeah. Hours of surfing the naughty blogs on my links, and then some. Not just the fine erotica found on the blogs. Not this week. Unfettered I'm hitting more hardcore sites like www.whippedass.com.

Retiring at night with my no-longer hidden 72-CD holder featuring an extensive collection of porn DVD's. It's impressive, I must say, and covers a wide range of video kink. They're all there: Jenna and Brianna and Felecia and Inari. From Shane's World to Private: Fetish. An all-star array of girl-on-girl scenes got me there and got me to sleep this week.

And, on a couple of special nights, it was time to break out the toys. Now, if I was a female it would be a B.O.B making an appearance. (Battery Operated Boyfriend.) In my case, however, it was date-night with something more tailored to my anatomy. I'm talking about a pound of Cyberskin shaped and textured in homage to the nether regions of pornstar Jenna Haze. Available at your local adult toy store for a mere $60. About the cost of two or three lapdances, but much more capable of delivering body-wrenching orgasms.

I've got to go. The week's up and tonight is my last night to break out the CyberSkin Jenna. I think I'm going to get lucky.
posted by Semi-Celibate Man @ 11:43 PM | 0 comments

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